What losing 85 lbs taught me about healing

I spend a lot of time with the doctor who's treating my Hashimoto's. I recently had a profound experience as we reviewed my blood labs line by line. I want to share with you what I know to be true about healing. 

  • Healing begins with believing you are worth being healed.
  • Healing is a delicate balance of fierce actions, hard work, utter flexibility, and acceptance.
  • Healing is a spiritual act. If you focus only on the physicality, you've missed the point.
  • Healing with a purpose, something larger than yourself that drives you, is critical.
  • Healing is never achieved, complete, wrapped up. Healing is a lifelong way of being.
Whenever you do something that is not aligned with the yearning or your soul — you create suffering.
— Anais Nin, author, diarist, my muse

I fought through 6 doctors over the course of 8 months last year to finally be diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that I'd been living with for nearly a decade. Hashimoto's attacks the thyroid, decimates metabolism, fries adrenals, fogs the brain, and makes everyday functions a battle. No one believed me. One internist insisted I was depressed. I wasn't. One patronizing endocrinologist said, "There's no way you're at the gym the way you're telling me you are. I'll tell you what though, I will give you the number to my lapband guy." Eight months later I found a doctor who would do the blood work I asked for all those months ago. Seven months after the diagnosis, and with fierce dedication to strict healing protocols, I've now leveled my thyroid hormones and actually lowered my Hashimoto's antibodies by 50%. This feat of reducing antibodies cannot be achieved through meds, only diet and stress management. I can't overstate that victory.

I wept right there in her office. I had such gratitude for myself for fighting for it. I was grateful that I disrespected all previous doctors' authority. I was grateful that I knew something was seriously wrong with me, and I listened to that. I was grateful that I believed I deserved to be well.

What was instantly clear to me is the universal message of loving yourself enough to fight for it...whatever your "it" may be.

When I decided to fight for a diagnosis, it's because I finally snapped. I finally woke up one day and said no more. I finally started fighting for my health in the same way I've fought for my career and other significant achievements. I kept going, even when doctor after doctor dismissed me. I let myself believe that I deserve to be well. I deserve to be energetic. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be thin. I deserve to fight for my right to heal. The antibodies manifested in my body in the first place because I didn't believe I was worth anything if I slowed down and took a fucking vacation from being CEO at Overachievers R' Us. I didn't believe I was worth being thin and happy and energetic. I didn't. I was content to play small. I pushed myself for three decades straight into a chronic illness and it was my final breaking point.

Love yourself, folks. Love yourself now. Today. Stop pushing. Don't wait. Believe you deserve everything you want. Then go get it.

Today I'm also celebrating 85 lbs lost since my diagnosis date. Want to know something I've never shared with anyone? It may sound crazy, but I've blessed every pound. I've thanked each pound for keeping me safe, because that's all they ever thought they were doing. I told every pound that I don't need protection anymore; that I'm ready to set out on my new adventure, healthy and healing. I let each pound go with love. I'll tell you something else I know for sure, there are not enough thyroid medications in the world, nor enough Autoimmune Protocol diet restrictions, to keep an ounce of weight off that wasn't released emotionally. 

Let it go, so you can go after what you really want. Do it now. 


P.S. My Hashimoto's healing adventure is just the beginning. This is the year I quit my 15-year career to travel the world. You won't want to miss it...

Living an Outrageously Open Life

From 1,200 square feet to a 46L backpack. It is go time.