I'm trance dancing in Bali as a way to emotionally heal. Because of course I am.
So I’m scheduled to do a little trance dancing in Ubud. Not a typo.
I realize most of you don’t know me personally, so let me explain that I’m primarily an introvert. I’m not keen to draw attention to myself, particularly in situations where I feel uncomfortable. Let's just say I'm working on my relationship with public displays of vulnerability. The moment I was presented with the opportunity to trance dance in Bali, I had hilarious and horrifying visions of Bridget Jones caliber. The degree of potential embarrassment is staggering.
After I arrive in Bali and spend solo time in Sanur, I head away from the coast into the mountains. I’ll be in the town of Ubud - which means healing. How ideal is that? I’m going to Ubud to attend the Inner Goddess retreat. Yes, a retreat for my inner goddess. The agenda of events is intended "for the divine embodiment of your deepest truth." Um...yes, please. I've found my people.
Fifteen women from around the world are gathering to do yoga, be led through Sanskrit mantras and guided meditations, create yantras (i.e. mandalas), activate our Shakti, journey shamanically through our divine feminine archetypes while making love to our shadow selves (or something along those lines), and perform oodles of sacred ceremonies together. Oh, and trance dance. Lest I forget.
We will trance dance in the muggy heat of Bali’s rice paddies. And this is the point I want to make about that experience: The fact that I’m comfortable with everything on the retreat agenda...except the idea of collectively dancing in a trance...tells me that the dancing is likely to be my most transformative experience.
My resistance to the experience is the key, as resistance so often is. Truth: Resistance is always the key to personal growth.
Your pain points - the sensations you resist and numb out with food, alcohol, busyness, and/or Netflix - are your greatest teachers. What a gift it is to become aware of your pain and your resistance. If you're there, don't stop now! Allowing yourself to feel that pain and that resistance is your exact starting point. Ask yourself: What are you resisting right now? What phone call have you been avoiding? What closet do you not want to clean out (literally or metaphorically)? What feelings have you been repressing for years, just hoping they will magically dissipate? Those pain points hold the key to your personal growth. It's not easy, but it's always worth it.
You know this intuitively, but let me remind you: Your most transformative growth happens on your edges. Your rough, messy, ignored, beautiful edges. What can you lean into this week and what pain can you explore? You already know the answer, so trust your intuition. Start there, love. When I arrive at the Naya retreat center in Ubud, I intend to lovingly push my ego way past her comfort zone. I plan to lean straight into my resistance.
Or spin straight into my resistance with my eyes closed and drums beating, as it were.
Love + trance dancing,