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A series of small, right actions...

When it comes to learning and personal growth, I know three things for sure: We teach what we know, we also teach what we ourselves need to learn, and the sooner you settle into a relationship between the ebb and flow of the two...the better.

I need to learn, teach, and settle into something that I shared with you only a week ago; something that came through loud and clear to me in Gabby Bernstein's Spirit Junkie Masterclass:

You only need to get through today. You have everything you need right now in this moment to get you to the next. Build your life as you follow divine energy through a series of small, right actions. 

Read that passage again. Notice where in your body you feel the resistance to it. For me, it's in my brain. I don't actually embody the resistance, rather my defense mechanism of being overly cerebral kicks in. I begin to list the 1,283 reasons I clearly do need a plan right now for 2:00pm 57 days from now. My brain also spins out listing everything I do not in fact have that would in fact get me through today. But just breathe...and read it again. What's your core reaction? Let that reaction be what it is. Don't try and change it, just set it aside for now. We'll come back to it. 

I've been up to my eyeballs in logistics for months now. I'm deconstructing life as I know it so that I can rebuild it on my own terms. My self-directed renaissance that began about three years ago is coming to a head. The head. The only natural conclusion. This deconstruction is not a metaphysical exercise, although my spiritual health is part of it. This is a very literal deconstruction of leaving a 15-year career, canceling a list of assorted memberships and automatic payments, paying off debts, selling everything I own, purchasing an endless string of airline tickets and lodging arrangements, working on the curriculum for a free e-course and an online group coaching program...and on and on.

It is quite easy for me to spin out, to panic and tell myself there's no way to accomplish what I'm attempting to accomplish; to spin out on the enormity of the undertaking. The chronic fatigue, brain fog, and anxiety stemming from my Hashimoto's makes this feat all the more challenging. And yet, I can see the end result so clearly, which is a blessing and a curse. I so vividly see me wearing my green backpack, sweating relentlessly curbside at the Denpasar airport in Bali, waiting for my pick up, wondering what the fuck I've done to my 34 year-old life. And why didn't I do it sooner? I just want to be there, now, past this logistical wormhole. 

But then I breathe and teach myself a truth I already now, a truth that's still taking a lifetime to ingrain in my bones: 

You only need to get through today. You have everything you need right now in this moment to get you to the next. Build your life as you follow divine energy through a series of small, right actions. 

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The three-year slow burn of my life's de- and soon to be reconstruction has, in fact, been a series of small right actions guided by divine energy. I know that. The magic in articulating this for myself is that I can now remind you of what you already know to be true in your core - past your first reaction, past fear, past ego, past panic.

You truly do have everything you need to get through this moment, then this day, then another. The cumulative effect of a life lived in the flow of small, right actions is pure magic. If you find yourself spinning out, the tool I'd offer to you is gratitude. I'm thankful to be exactly where I am, learning exactly what I'm learning. I'm thankful to know that I'm safe and capable of the next small, right step. It's not a simple affirmation, it's a comprehensive way of existing in the world.

So for all of us tackling a journey of personal growth, whatever it may be and however it may look in your own life, keep going. You've come this far. Tell fear thank you and goodbye. One foot in front of the other.

Love + small, right actions, 
gail

So I quit my job today and booked a one-way ticket to Bali...

So I quit my job today and booked a one-way ticket to Bali...

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