Okay 2016, you win.
Hi loves. It's been a long time since I've written anything outside my travel journals. Too long, in fact. Can we chat? I'm curious to know if 2016 has anyone else feeling like they're sprinting a marathon?
The specifics of our so-far 9 month marathon don't matter right now. What does matter is that the overall vibe of 2016 has been intense. This year built to a crescendo on 09 September when a 9-year growth cycle wrapped up at a fever pitch. Whether you follow the moon + stars or not, surely you've felt the tension, the shifts, the purges and deaths, the plain old fucking epicness of it all. Yes?
I've felt acutely that 2016 is about upping my game. Upping my game in my business, my spirituality, my health, my relationships, my personal growth, all of it. I have e-courses begging to be created. I’m resisting them because they would expose a truer, deeper, more spiritual version of myself. I’m ready to travel with a partner and build a big, brave, adventurous life together. Believing that big, brave, adventurous man is wanderlusting his way toward me as well is sometimes quite simple and sometimes feels impossibly far away. To keep my Hashimoto’s in remission, and continue working toward optimal health, I have to tackle patterns + beliefs both lifelong and ancestral. On and on the up-leveling goes.
I've crashed headlong into my capacity for All Of It many times this year. I've frankly not handled the growth required of me as gracefully as I would've liked to. And it hurts. And it sucks. And I'm bone tired from the tears. And I'm fumbling through it as I go. And yes, it's ultimately for my highest good. And no, that doesn't make it easier.
Maybe you've felt this same urge to expand in whatever ways are relevant to you? Maybe your boundaries have been pushed too, pushed hard and pushed past their ability to stay stubbornly status quo?
Whether you're tuned in or in total resistance, 2016 is definitely not messing around.
The clincher is that what I thought I was purging all year…what I thought I was working toward letting go for good…what I thought was coming and what I thought was leaving...were not in fact what came and what left. The swiftness and finality of the loss that did come, not to mention the aftershocks of grieving, have quite literally forced me to my knees.
The Universe is breaking me all the way down into the sacred depths of complete surrender.
And I've finally given up. Or rather, I’ve finally given in.
Because sometimes it fucking sucks. So just let it.
Because sometimes you're gonna cry so hard that your whole body and soul eventually fall asleep in the middle of the sweltering day in your Balinese bungalow. So just go there.
Because sometimes you see everything so clearly and sometimes you’re just crawling toward your next mysterious milestone. So just keep going.
I know there are times I come at you with advice or coaching. This isn't one of those times. I am coming at you in the way I'm trying to come at everything right now, from a place of wide open love. If your 2016 has been full of beautiful peaks and devastating valleys, know you aren't alone on the adventure.
That knowledge is usually better than all the advice in the world anyway.
Love + surrender,