My pilgrimage to the Center for Spiritual Living in Oakland to hear author Tosha Silver speak was a success. Well, I suppose pilgrimage is a strong word. While I did feel like I was sitting at the feet of a guru, there was no genuflecting, starvation, or crawling on my knees for any amount of time. My pilgrimage was of more modern variety, think Delta, Airbnb, Yelp, and Uber. Regardless, it still felt like a pilgrimage and I still consider her a guru. I floated out of the room last night. Outrageous Openness changed my life and I can already feel the transformative energy of The Change Me Prayers barreling toward me.
From five pages of scribbled notes and ah-ha moments, I curated these highlights for you:
Tosha’s clarification of “the divine beloved” was beautiful and should preface all other reflections. The invocations of her prayers begin with, “Divine Beloved, change me into…” She was very clear that she doesn’t see the Divine Beloved as an external God, but rather as your higher self. Is there a force greater than you supporting your spiritual evolution? Of course, we’ve all felt that at one point or another; but that’s not who/what you’re calling upon. She said, “The Change My Prayers take your ego where it cannot go on its own. The Divine Beloved is your own higher self. It’s the small ego bowing to your greatest self.”
For anyone who is looking for a step-by-step how-to list, wondering if the concepts of Outrageous Openness and Change Me Prayers are too woo woo esoteric, Tosha explained that “letting the divine take the lead is in fact not an abstract concept, but a very specific daily practice. The change me prayers are practical tools that allow the Divine to execute the surrender.”
Allow the Divine to execute the surrender. The Surrender. The moment you accept that The Universe has plans for you far larger than anything you can concoct on your own. The moment you get out of your own way. The moment you allow the Divine to execute the surrender. How yummy is that? Allow your higher self to handle the situation. Allow your internal Divine Beloved to bring to you whatever you need. Along those same lines, Tosha is vocal in her opposition to The Secret, Pinterest vision boards, and pop culture teaching on manifestation. She exclaims that “vision boards are still your ego at work. Stop it. You must let the Divine surprise you.” She continued to clarify, “Sure, you can make things happen. You can manifest all sorts of stuff…but if you want them to be holy aligned, it must be offered. The very act of grasping the feather creates the wind current that pushes it away.”
I spent the first 34 years of my life striving and grasping and controlling and achieving and misaligning my soul. I wasn’t offering anything, let alone my higher self. She was repressed beyond belief and I wasn’t about to let that vulnerability see the light of day. Tosha cracked me wide open. At this point I barely recognize myself, and I’ve never felt more at home in my own skin.
The very first change me prayer she ever uttered is a brilliant place for all of us to start our own journey. When Tosha’s mother was dying, she sat at her bedside and said, “Change me, Divine Beloved, into someone who can sit in this room and say goodbye to my beloved mom.” As Tosha articulated last night, in answer to an emotional audience member asking how to even start when she has so idea where and how to start:
“Change me into someone who knows where to start. Change me into someone who can fucking get through this. Break me open. Do this.”
Love + divine alignment,