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Bloodsport

My family is highly competitive. I, thankfully, got the recessive genes and only care to compete with my perfectionist self. However, for the rest of these yahoos, everything from Jeopardy to making it through the soon-to-change traffic light is a very. serious. competition.

Take for instance the pleasant arts & crafts project my mom whipped up for us today: Decorate a gingerbread house. Seems simple enough, but oh no. It was only a matter of time before we were entrenched on opposite sides of the dining room table, men versus women in a battle to the death, our voices raised as we debated the engineering of the graham cracker roof beams.

Shouting trash talk across the table we hurled, "Your Necco roof is not structurally sound!" "Oh yeah? Well your garden path is so not to scale!" Not a hint of irony. Not a whiff of the absurd. We were dead serious.

Just as we thought we were finished with our task, my mother called two different neighbors over to the house for an independent judging commission. The tiebreaker turned to Facebook. A post to my mom's wall, a post to mine. It was on.

House #2 was the women's creation and I don't need to tell you it's clearly better. It also won the Facebook polls by a landslide. I'm just sayin' ...

Totally addicting waste of time

Beats doing dishes