Pop Quiz, re: Cute Artsy Guy

If you're even a semi-regular reader of my ramblings, you've probably met Cute Artsy Guy who lives in my building. Rather than relate the details of our most recent encounter, I offer this pop quiz for your entertainment. Keep your eyes on your own monitor and put your head down on your desk when finished. You have 10 minutes. Go.

1. You notice Cute Artsy Guy in your parking lot. You are more than a little attracted to this new neighbor. You...

A. Make eye contact and smile. Baby steps.
B. What Cute Artsy Guy?
C. Purr forth, "Well hey there, how you dooooin' Cute Artsy Guy? 'Sup, sexy?"

2. Cute Artsy Guy initiates verbal greeting. Your response...

A. Blush. Trip. Nearly fall, but not quite. Look away.
B. "Hello! Ohmigosh! I thought you'd never get this rolling. We've lost so much time already. What color do you want the center pieces to be and is red okay for bridesmaids? What do you think?"
C. "Hi," and up the ante with, "How are you?" and a huge smile.

3. You park your car next to Cute Artsy Guy's car, but he's no where to be seen. You decide to...

A. Sit in your car until he comes out of the building four hours later, at which time you move to gather your bags and pretend to just have arrived home. Jangling your keys absent mindedly as you walk toward him, "Wow..." chuckling, "what are the odds?"
B. Grin to yourself as you remember his adorably thick black framed glasses and, as you may have an encounter in the morning, reconsider your plan, Friday or not, to wear a ponytail and yoga gear to work tomorrow.
C. Which car was his again?

4. While removing a considerable number of IKEA D.I.Y furniture boxes from the back of your car because, hypothetically, you're overhauling your bedroom decor to be all Malm all the time, it begins to rain. Five boxes down and one to go, Cute Artsy Guy pulls into the parking lot, smiling at you through his foggy car window. You...

A. Rush the last box inside, check your lip gloss, fluff your rain-sprinkled hair, and calmly walk back outside to move your car into a proper parking spot...and to flirt with Cute Artsy Guy.
B. Feign helpless Sisyphean struggle with final box until Cute Artsy Guy exits car, offers to help, invites you over for dinner, and eventually makes out with you by night's end.
C. Rush last box inside and stay put. You have a long night of assembly in front of you, better get started.

If you chose answer B, I'll leave you alone with that fantasy. Thanks for stopping by the blog. If you chose answer C, how's that Single As Single Can Be lifestyle workin' for ya? If you chose answer A, continue to question #5.

5. Upon returning to the parking lot, you see Cute Artsy Guy walking through the rain, smile and all, approaching you and your now-empty car. He offers, "Can I help you with anything? Do you need me to carry something?" You...

A. Neglect to answer because you've totally lost your mind in an Austen-esque fantasy involving wet shirts and steamy glances. He does look a bit like Colin Firth if you squint at him in the rain.
B. Smirk and mumble, "Actually that was the last box...but I have such a looooong night of screwing all those pieces together and that's just such a lonely job with only my two hands. I'd love for you to join me..."
C. Reward his offer with a smile and a step closer as you say, "Thank you, but that was the last box. I appreciate that though."**

Pop Quiz Answer Key:

1) A = 1; B = 0; C = 2
2) A= 0; B = 2; C = 1
3) A = 2; B = 1; C = 0
4) A = 1; B = 2; C = 0
5) A = 0; B = 2; C = 1

7-10 Points: Super. Sultry. Stalker.
Woah there, Creepy. You may want to ease up and mirror back his own interest level. But then again, you're probably the one making out with him by the end of the night, so congratulations on that.

3-5 Points: Coy. Cute. Ineffective.
"Welcome to my world," says the author of this blog. You've nailed a perfectly coquettish response. He's clearly intrigued, but chances are good you'll need to ramp up your approach if this affair is going to leave the parking lot.

0-2 Points: Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
Earth to Wallflower. Come in Wallflower. Did you not see his scuffed up leather messenger bag? Copy? Perhaps you missed his messy black hair, hip Eurotrash shoes, and dark eyes? Wallflower, heads up!

** FYI - To which he replied, "Oh. Shoot. I tried." To which I jabbed, "Yeah, great timing." To which he giggled and shrugged, "You know, I do what I can." To which I said, for the 27th time, "Thank you, though..." and we parted ways.

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