Just. Say. No.

Part of me has always believed it, but not until the last couple years have I really really let it sink into my core: When you finally get the courage to state an intention, the Universe will flood your awareness with resources that support you. As Danielle LaPorte says in The Desire Map, "Your desire is a prayer." It all goes back to the energy of manifesting and all that hippie Hay House stuff, right? I've come to realize, with awe, the sheer precision and specificity of the Universe in delivering these resources. It can be in response to an epic dream or a cautious whisper, but it will be answered with a flood of resources to support you.

For example, in the somewhat-cautious-whisper category: I've been meditating a lot recently on the liberation of saying no. Creating a do-not-do list is empowering and revolutionary, for me anyway. I'm in a situation right now that cannot immediately change, even though I want it to change with every ounce of my being. I'm seeking ways to change myself within the structure that exists. For now. My ultimate plan is to bust wide out and never look back, but for now, a series of shifts.

If you also have trouble standing strong in a firm no, for whatever reason, consider this your permission (she also says to herself). In a brilliant confluence, I realize that as I get deeper into my Core Desired Feelings and deeper into a commitment to make those feelings a reality every day...I have to be very clear on what I say yes and no to. This ability to refine my commitments, and even my perspective on my commitments, is helping me change within that for-now structure.

"An inability to notice our true feelings leaves us at their mercy. People with greater certainty about their feelings are better pilots of their lives."

Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence.

In addition to what feels like a thousand photos and serendipitous article links on this very theme flooding my Facebook and Twitter feeds, two particular resources have come at just. the. right. time. It's these two resources that I want to share with you: a blog post from traveler/author Kim Dinan and a recently reprised post from Danielle. Kim talks about how we can decide whether to say yes or no, and Danielle talks about admitting when something sucks. From that foundation of "this sucks" - start saying no and fix it. She writes: "You're smart to see it. You're brilliant if you move on." Preach.

I'd love to hear about your experiences. Do you have difficulty saying no, particularly to anything that you perceive as "the responsible thing" to do? Has working through your Core Desired Feelings had this same effect on you, a refiner's fire of saying no?



  1. Gail, I love this! Your writing is so profound. I echo your sentiments as I find myself, very nearly, in the same place. I am also in a situation that I will not change because I simply need to learn the lesson and change my perception rather than my surroundings. Time for a paradigm shift. My CDFs must come first in any circumstance. I think (maybe) that's where the magic happens. Thanks for reminding me (and giving me the courage) to throw it to the universe for a response. I'm open to the magic........

    1. Thanks, Terresa. I'm actually working really hard to change my situation, I definitely don't want to be in it, but in the meantime, I'm at least trying to change myself. I definitely think the magic happens when we put our CDFs first. Cheers to the adventure of it all!


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